it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
