he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
