He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
