I just pynch a tree in the face
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
