Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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