I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
