I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
