We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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