we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
