You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When are your genitals available?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
