Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
