It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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