I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
