Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
