Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
