are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
