I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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