Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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