When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
