Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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