New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
