Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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