I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
