I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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