ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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