u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
