At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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