Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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