I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
