i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
