Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
