At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
