Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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