saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
