What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
