Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
