Duck Duck Cougar?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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