i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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