Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
