I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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