i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
