I smell stomach acid.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
