i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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