You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
