Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
