guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
