Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
