When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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