Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize