I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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