I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
