dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
